Monday, July 28, 2008
I was in KL on holiday for 3 weeks which passed by so swiftly.I didnt have time to say goodbye to everybody but the most important friends were there to see me off.I'll miss them dearly.It is time to start a new chapter in my life and turn over a new page.I don't really have time to update everything just yet.There is so much to say but also so much to do.Anyway,till I write again...
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Last night,my friend,Sang Kyu showed me a documentary on North Korea...it was just so sad and awful the way they treated the citizens.It reminded me of how Mao Tze Tung ruled China during the revolution.Insanely mortifying...they worship their leader like God and they have no idea the outside world exist.It was crazy to think that until now,no one dares do anything or go against them or save the people in that country.what the hell are they doing?brainwashed by the leader.they hold the key to world destruction,how many nuclear weapons do they own?crazy...anyway,i watched sex and the city before that and it was freakingly awesome!arghhh so nice!!but it also shows how friendship remained eventhough they were old,married and with kids haha...funny how that works...cant imagine how life will be at 40 lol...i see my mum PMS everyday,rather not think bout it lol...like mother,like daughter haha..
Liesa has left for home and I won't be able to see her again..who knows maybe in the near future but I guess friends come and go...and i hate goodbyes...
i find it hard to trust people who don't know me long enough or well enough...sometimes i wonder if im being hard headed with myself or it's just how the past changes how you think.there are times i think i should just let things be but other times i would not let myself be influenced or changed by the things around me...
people ask me why is it so hard for you to trust even your close friends.i will say,i have had bad experiences and that's why it will always be a reason i keep a distance.isn't that a good thing?at least you know your boundaries and you have control about how you feel or think.it takes time, i guess.the true friends are always the friends from back home...the ones i started off with from the beginning...it will always be the people who you grew up with,the people you shared most of your memories with and the people who are there for you vice versa.going to a new country means you have to meet new people and do the same thing all over again.i don't really know how I'm supposed to feel,excited,sad,happy?its all mixed feelings.in melbourne,i still feel that there's something missing.there's a gap that hasn't been filled but when i go home,i dont have that gap.i really pray and hope this experience will be one in a million and worth all the effort and perspiration.sometimes we feel that everything we do is never enough to achieve what we want to achieve but i hope it all works out.i'll miss everyone here and i'll miss life as it is but i do hope that as i take this to a new level,there will be experiences gained and memories treasured.not everyone gets a shot at this,its up to you to decide what you want to do with your life and be grateful for what you have.
times like these,it's when you need to make a decision