Tuesday, February 05, 2008
its again almost 12am here(insomnia strikes) and my mind seems to wander off to my memories in KL...so many things to say,so many words cant describe how i feel...lol
leaving KL was one of the toughest challenges for me
not only was I moving to a new place and a new environment but i was also leaving behind my most precious treasures,my memories,my longtime friends,my loved ones...
it is the hardest thing for me to do...to make newfound friends in a country so foreign to you than anywhere else in the world...it is just so tough to be able to make or force yourself to make new friends..the truth is its not that i dont want to but im just not ready to face the fact that i may not see my friends again...
dad told me we may not be going back to KL in a very long time and i wanted to deny it and make him say that its not true eventhough i know it is and i wont convince myself any longer...its hard to believe the truth when we try not to and when we dont want to...
its really hard to make friends with people when you're not ready to...people are different and ive learnt to accept that...but i really miss my friends back home and no one can replace that...as defensive as i may be,i will always tell my parents that nothing can replace what can never be found...ive found peace and serenity with their company...
i miss the laughs i used to have with ikhsan,alvin,lava,chanduru,sasi and edmund...the crazy jokes we throw at each other..the insults and stupid things we would say...idiots we may be but we will still be like a family
the girls,may,min and sha...the craziness,the wackiness can never be compared to anythin else and i'll never exchange those memories for even the biggest treasure...the laughs and tears...unforgettable
the gossip and stories that we laugh at..becky and steph...the names we call each other haha...prog...
kim,min,yen...our team...the hangout places we go to,the shops...the girly talk...
moments have passed but memories have stayed...can't be gone too far now can it?
being here taught me things that i would never realise elsewhere...all i can think bout is spending more time with them when i could have...there were more things to say,more things to do...every minute and second could have gone without saying the right words yet i didnt make use of it...i miss the moments...that's all i can say
how i wish i could go back to my motherland and see the people who made me who i am and who are important to me...
they say friends come and go but i dont believe that...what if you go and you can never see them again?
i do tell myself everyday that i will see my friends again.i will try my best...
it is really difficult to live in a place friendless and worse still,no church to revive your spiritual growth.
i've learnt to trust what's best for me.for i know that not anyone can be trusted no matter how miserable and sad you may be.there's nobody you can depend on but yourself.that's what ive learnt here.
at least i wont be coming back here again and i hope that i've gained something out of this to make myself a better person.
(I Will Remember You by Ryan Cabrera)