Designer: Manikka
Resources: 1 2 3

don't they look real?haha...its so super chun...this is jenhan's college assignment...so kewl rite?hehe....i wan orlando bloom!!hehe... =p

Some part of me can't wait to go there and some part of me tells me that i should stay...Went to MSL travel today to book my flight to melbourne...i'll be leavin with my mum on the 13th of feb at 9.30pm...will arrive in melb at 8.10am in the morning...wanted to go on the 12th but tix fully booked.Im still waiting for the new offer letter from melb...hope they'll send it to me asap coz ive to get my student visa and all...after settling the flight tix, mum,lishan and I went to delifrance in the mall for tea...bumped into joey,agnes's bf...so surprised to see him der...neway,did nothing much except help mum shop and cook dinner...made potato salad....ate most of it hehe...had roasted lamb for dinner(my fave!!!).....absolutely yummy!!!wonder if i'll get this kinda food in melb...it'll be kinda costly...hehe...mum's homecook western food = juz to die for!!hehe...today was raining heavily so was kinda moody....the rain is juz depressin wei...hehe...

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught
And in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be safe
but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can’t find your way home
You can get there alone, it’s ok
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And sure they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I'll live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can
You’re gonna make it through the rain

ive been rotting at home most of the time...usually doing housework,cooking or walking the dog...waiting for mail most of the time...got an offer letter from the University of Adelaide to do biotechnology...predeparture briefing is on the 9th of jan....well,no point going since my parents have already made up their mind to send me to melbourne...lolz...actually im pretty excited bout going to melbourne coz i'll be meeting my frenz der and Min Chiee and Jerry wil be going der too!!other than that,Harith told me bout adelaide(hes been stayin der for 6 years) so it sort of gave me that impression that i won't enjoy uni life der lolz...my mum has talked and asked around bout the life in adelaide and study environment der...she said dat the more ppl she talks to,the more she thinks that i should be going2melbourne haha....biomedical engineering is quite interesting and dad really thinks that that course is the best for me...sumhow i should juz listen to my dad this time and trust his judgement lolz...

I thank God for friends who have helped me through my emotional breakdown previously this year and who have been my support and listening ear.Thank you all for being so patient and tolerant with me.My housemates in subang,mayn,wei ern,agnes and wei ern...my clasmates from S9,especiali hou,denny,vincent,ken seong,the gurlz,aaron,kim,min chiee...u guyz have been such great pals to me...sori for being such a bother and troublesome at times...thank u to my frenz from other classes, jerry,jenhan and kwee jin for being there for me when i truly needed them...for hearing me out and for givin me brotherly advices...bob and nguyen for being great frenz and being understanding...thank u guyz...last but not least,jasmine,my childhood fren and best fren for lending me a shoulder to cry on and be my listening ear..my best frenz,alvin and lavaniya for being there for me and helping me cope through the hard times....becky,i'll always remember u for ur big heart and understanding mind..to my pet bro,Daniel Yang who has given me the support to move on and look into a world filled with possibilities and golden opportunities....my pet sis,yvonne sim,truly love ya for being truthful and honest with me....thank u all...love ya all...will remember all of u for life.....

I've been experiencing major emotional troubles lately mostly to do with love and life.But now i've realised that i need to move on and get my life back.The life i've always wanted.To give and expect nothing in return.Well,others may mourn and take their time to forget their unforgettable memories and i'm one of them but what i won't do is be the pitiful and self-centred person i was.God knows there are better things for me out there than just to sit and wait for someone to walk through that door.People may tell me to get a life and get over with it.I admit it's difficult for me but it doesn't mean i won't try.I'll be a stronger person emotionally and mentally and i will not let anyone step me all over the head or take the best out of me.Truly,my dreams and goals are my priorities now.I know now that i'm already special in God's eyes.Everyone has a belief and i have mine.Only my future husband will have my full trust,loyalty,sincerity,care and love.Now,my life has just begun...a brand new day awaits me...

Today,havent been doing much except making appointments for my driving lesson and helping mum with the household chores.I cooked!!!haha...not the first time but mum taught me how to cook!hehe...i can challenge pilot yii min ek haha...challenge u in the kitchen ar vincent hehehehe....cheyyyy...well,i wont be thinkin too much these few dayz....here are my new year resolutions:

1. Get into University of Melbourne doing biomedical engineering
2. Study hard during the 4yrs of uni
3. Meet my friends in Melbourne
4. Get myself a part time job as a waitress or pet shop helper
5. Earn an income which is enough to support food etc
6. Collect enough money to come back to KL to see my friends or go to Abu Dhabi to see my family
7. Graduate with first class honours(after 4 yrs)
8. Go to church in melbourne and build up my spiritual life
9. Socialize and make as many friends as possible
10. Keep in touch with my friends here in KL

went to taylor's today to collect my cert...and enquired for some melbourne uni stuff in IDP...bumped into chor yeow,ken seong,aaron,tongjiun and siang sern der...saw mr yp der,my physics teacher...wearin army pants wei...wah so chunted...sporting nye...hahaha....after dat,went to starbucks coffee(juz opened2day,took over the mee yoke place) which was super chun...haha...ppl der super friendly to all the customers le...when we were leavin,all of the workers were waving and saying goodbye etc...lolz how nice...we're being treated like royalty...muahahaha...no le,not so mean hehe...neway,ive alot of things to settle bout melb uni....ticket flight,residential college,student visa,part time job etc...haih....well,gona help my mum with grocery shopping in Great Eastern Mall....bb

i feel like such an ass to keep on loving the same person who shows no sign of any feelings at all whatsoever and continuing to hurt me or make me sad...i should have known better than to keep my feelings bottled up inside and letting them fade bit by bit...How wrong of me to just think that anyone can be replaced ever so easily when all those string of memories comes flooding back into my mind..I must be blind to think that theres a person out there who would actuali appreciate me for who i am and love me for me...when all ive ever done is make the best out of life and expect nothing in return...as they say,let bygones be bygones....ive always thought of that principle but truly,it cant be the basic fundamentals of how life evolves by the blink of an eye...i pray to God everyday to heal that pain ive suffered for so long and i have experienced worse pains than just the pain of losing someone...i will not linger anymore or expect anything...i've learnt my lesson and i'll be stronger....

spent the whole day in klcc today....watched king kong which was quite a disappointment lolz...firstly,it was too long coz dey spend too much time with the journey to that island....secondly,dey overdid the insects part....damn freaky lolz...neway,at least it was better than yesterday's movie,the promise....dat one was reali an illogical movie.....fly here and der like got no body weight like dat lolz...neway,today was shoppin for winter clothes...got a coat from naf naf....costs almost rm500....crazyyyyyyy.....dad bought it for me sincerely as a gift lolz...i think my parents have already made up their minds to send me to melbourne instead of adelaide......the way i see it,they cant wait and they're pretty excited bout it...duno y lolz...well,gotta wake up around5am tomoro to see my dad go off to the airport....flying back to china but he'll be back in a month's time....finishin his job der soon.....yeay!!!cant wait...mum wil be goin2china to see him 2weeks from now...dat means i can go lepak!!finally...!!!wonder if i can club tho...hehe...juz hav to wait and see lolz.....=)

yesterday went to hou's house for some lepak-ing session....thanx hou for the invitation...at least i didnt ffk rite....hehe...neway,dey had all this dj thing set up n al but very few ppl came...poor hou hou...didnt stay dat long coz had to go to hartamas for countdown n all so left pretty early...kinda le....erm,saw chor yeow...we plan to go to melb,find sum of our frenz to join and stay der in a gang...dat'll be so chunted!but duno whether dats possible anot...hehe....it'll be so much fun!!goin2check out some of the residential colleges and apply asap...hehe

today goin2watch the promise with my family....supposed2watch it with my fren but probably watch sumthin else le...lolz...this morn had dim sum in starhill....woowwwwwww,super super duper chun!!!its heaven der hahha....d place has such a romantic and modern setting....d food is to die for lolz...but its kinda costly tho haha...once in a blue moon hehe....well....being pretty bummed bout stuff now....update laterz...

university of melbourne has offered me a place in bachelor of biomedical science and i am stil considering the offer although im very sure i'll stick to medical and pharmaceutical biotechnology in university of south australia.My father says i should do biomedical engineering in University of Melbourne which deals with health care equipment and dialisis etc...right now,still have time to decide which uni i should go to.Mum claims i should go to a uni with a prestigious name and cutting edge facilities pluz an adaptable environment.Havent got an offer from the adelaide universities yet(mum thinks they're inefficient since they're taking so long to process my results and all)...maybe i should think twice...hehe

havent been updatin for long since ive been been busy helping mum preparing for her party...it was great...she invited her colleagues,neighbours,friends and some of my frenz...well,we gurls have been gossipin and havin gurl talk bout guyz and all...it was pretty interesting hearin their stories lolz...*for gurlz only* hehe....food finished reali fast...mum served roasted beef,stewed lamb,turkey,stuffing,potatoes and dessert=choc fudge brownies,strawberry cheesecake and creme du lait...wanted to invite more ppl but mum wouldnt allow it....i had2sing in front of my frenz n mum's colleagues...sang oh holy night...haha...mum's colleagues asked for more but i quickly sat down and blushed....my college mates had2leave early...sad sad...lolz...neway,after most of the guests left...my gurls and I had some camwhoring sessions(u missed this wan yee hou...sure go *rrrrrr*)...and danced abit to "dont cha" and "my humps" haahahha....boy,can jasmine reali dance...she was getting daniel kor kor reali high ady hahaha...all the gurls were juz reali movin le...kor took so many pics of me shuffling and videos of us dancing with me giving this horny look hahahaha...no la,not horny....and d gurls were flirting with their eyes fixed to the camera...it was gettin reali hot and sweaty hahaahha...well we had fun....was sad the others left so soon tho....

Year Code Subject Result Achievement Score
2005 2CHM2 Chemistry 18 Completed
2005 2ESP2 ESL 15 Completed
2005 2MSU2 Math Studies 17 Completed
2005 2PHY2 Physics 17 Completed
2005 2MSL2 Spec Maths 18 Completed



went to the hospital at 1am...it was suspected i had appendix but the doctor in ampang puteri hospital said i had food poisoning...slept for 15 hrs today...going to get my L license on friday.Hou woke me up at 4sumthin am...didnt know where lishan put my glasses so i had to wear contacts haih...juz to check my results...was as blind as a bat lookin for my exam slip.finally found it next to the phone..lolz...kinda shocked when i checked it...but pondered for a while and finally got it digested into my system.felt that i shud've gotten batter marks for chem and physics..lolz..neway,i puas ady le...TER = 95.9 ....informed dad straight after i got my results.He called the house phone and was very happy for me...lolz...frenz got excellent results as well...congrats to every1 who got their SAM results ady...

I had a 30 minute interview with one of the representatives of Lincoln College at 8.30am in the morning...ok,u can say i was quite groggy and sleepy coz i was so tired and sleepy haha.I felt really nervous coz afraid that i might screw up and all but he was absolutely kewl.He didn't ask like bombarding questions and told me2stay calm and kewl coz its not like an exam...lolz...Well,it went smoothly.I didn't stammer or blurt out anything stupid.It was kinda interesting to know the facilities and support structure of that residential college.They provide free tutoring - social,biological,physical etc (dats what they call it) tutors, plenty of outdoor activities(yiippppeeeeeee.....can't wait for that...i'll surely participate) and performances(dances-i'm definitely in!!).The make up of the population - 40% overseas students,mostly from malaysia(40 or 50 students),followed by Singapore,Sri Lanka,China,US etc.Interesting eyh?hehheheh i think its damn chunted...I really hope i can get into this college...He added that there are ppl who will be going around the college to make sure no one is left out during the 1st semester coz obviously,being away from home requires a bit of time to adapt with the environment and social life there.haha...i can finally meet jojo's bro,Bryan Haris whose doing biotech in Adelaide uni....lolz...I'm kinda shy when it comes to meeting new ppl for the first time but after a while,I'll be really chatty and bubbly lolz...i hope my obsession over butterflies wont juz shoo ppl away hehe....nah,i'll be havin fun in no time i hope...hehe...pray that i'll be accepted lolz...

i had to go and pick up my IC after the interview...was quite fast like hou hou said...didnt take ages just to pick it up but i found a huge mole next to my nose in my IC...the ink must have smudged lolz...mum was being so tense and screamin around while i was using sumthin to get it off but finally,settled ady haha...no biggie...straight after that,had to go tapau some food and go for my amali...3 hours of total boredom listening bout cars...ok,i admit i admire cars but i know nothing bout their insides...seriously,i ended up admiring the speaker(dat was so dumb,maybe coz i had nothing better to do)...lolz..coz he was blabbing on and on about this and dat...so unknown to me...my mind wandered off sumwhere...hehe...

BTW,SAM RESULTS COMING OUT TOMORO....!!!!!SO FREAKY MAN!!!I WONT BE SLEEPING TONITE.....results comin out at 5am 21 december 2005 and we can collect results in taylor's MPH at 10am....ARRGGHHH *PULLS HAIR AND SCREAMS LIKE A NUTHEAD*......now i have to face reality man...no more in the fantasy world...*give an ugly smile like gollum*

finally i passed...haih,feel so relieved now lolz...tomoro got amali le den the followin day the guy has to drive me here n there...teaching me stuf....woke up at 7.15am today so dat i'll be one of the earliest der...luckily i didnt hav to wait until 3pm juz to take the test...hmm..met a few girls der who took the test...some took it for the 2nd time but stil failed...sad...wel,bumped into two of my juniors in high skewl...the biatch's frenz....bloody hell,wat a lovely surprise!wanted to blurt out,"plz tell ur f***ing biatch fren that i'll send her to hell one day"....ok dats pretty mean but seriously,she deserves it for tha pain she has put me thru...so called fren my ass le....neway,im taking things way too personal...lolz,i nid a buddy here or two to bring me out for coffee...where r u ducky?hehe

Christ, the Son of God born in a lowly manger, bringing
Hope to a sin stricken world and
Redemption to all who will acknowledge that He is the
Incarnation of God in human form to be the
Saviour of our souls
Transforming lives, changing hearts, bringing new
Meaning to our very existence
Assurance in times of trials and podiving
Strength when we are weak


i got this from the booklet of the church play...felt it was kinda creative of dem to do this lolz...

went to kim's church to see her perform...super chun...beter than my church in desa melawati...ders alot of fun and humour in it...damn nice...best christmas performance ive ever seen so far...wish i cud be part of the crew lolz...neway,was supposed to go to midvalley before dat but cudnt find any parking so decided to leave instead...feel guilty for someone who took al the trouble to send me and al...didnt get to join us for korean barbeque dinner tho...it was quite costly lolz...erm...well in cc now at the mo...watchin the guyz playing dota...haha...was surprised to see hengteng but it was a nice reunion...lolz...update later...hehe

singapore was great...my cousins hav grown from little kids to prettu grown up kids...akib,my cousin brother has changed from a cry baby to a manly guy lolz...kinda masculine lolz...my mum cudnt stop admirin his body and tan which was funny...haha...not bad le...had fun with them...reali like the triangle pic...lolz...btw,i found this gay spray and irish spray in topshop which was so so funny...wanted to buy it for hou hou since he's very good in fatt hou-ing...din buy in the end tho coz it'll be plain mean hehe...juz afraid dat it wil last for a month den kesian the guy lor...super funny wei...hehe...next time le hou hehe

my hols in singapore are comin to an end lolz...haha...duno y i sound so melancholic...lolz....hmm,shoppin was super fun here....my luggage looks so overweight and packed with stuff,it seems impossible to fit in anything more...btw,the specs here are juz wayyyyyyy better than in KL le...now i got 2 pairs and ive to chuck my armani away...my gosh,it costed me a bomb....regretted it man...im goin2come all the way here to get new specs if i need another one...hehe...didnt get to see the fake snow today...outside the mall in the city...lolz...it looked reali nice at nite....becomin like a little kid,relivin those memories in melbourne(seein snow for the first time and actin like monkeys)....haih....there was so much i wanted to do but had no chance to do...for example,sneakin out at nite to check out the clubs esp zouk...sum frenz told me the clubs here are wayyyy chunter than in KL....haiz...gosh,how unfortunate...well,when i stay here,most prob go clubbin with my young cousies(poison their minds abit)...*evil laugh* hehe...kinda sleepy...hey ppl,go to kim's thingy ok?btw,kim uve to giv me directions to ur church thing....got self defense on sat morn and hav to retake undang on monday lolz....sien.....c ya guyz soon...

wow,shopped again today...bought tuns of stuf - shorts, jeans, tops, slippers,etc and it was so much fun...went to this place called mustafa centre and der were so many things der....we juz din know where to start....it reminded me of mydin in KL....lolz....neway,went home n had to try on clothes to make sure they fit(coz i dun come to singapore all the time...haha)....my cousin recorded me singing amazing grace and believer...so malu lolz...juz din hav the confidence to sing...eventho she reali wanted me to...so embarrassed of my voice sumhow...she made me sing duet with her fren whose reali reali good....and dat was awesome....she thinks we shud sing duet one day....she can reali sing very well... it was fun tho....lolz...stil so malu...duno y...when i sang believer alone,it was ok but in front of the audience dat day during audition,i totali freaked...being up der alone is my worst fear...im not sure if ppl wil feel the same in my shoes....but i guess der was only one person who appreciated my voice....coz i'll never sing in front of an audience ever again in my life...

was goin crazy yesterday coz shopped like crazy....went to this shop and bought like 17 clothes in total(includin mum and lishan)....omg it was super cheap wei...it was fun...saw this new nissan called march(same as my birth month)...hehe looks like volkswagen beetle....not bad...hehe......at nite,my cousin,kimmee brought lishan and I to a play bout indian tradition and this cruel king....first time i see some obscene stuff wei...the rape n all....whoa....some things u'll never c in any plays in malaysia man...haha...they were seriously open bout it while li-shan and I were like OMG,they can do this sorta thing......and there were kissin scenes as well...haha...see those couples makin out was so much fun...haha...first time we're seeing this...neway......goin shopping again today...laterz

went to shop in takashimaya...bought new specs and new sunglasses and new bag and new prezzies for friends...saw a lot of chunted sport's cars!!! saw EIGHT COOPERS yesterday..!! saw BMW sports today...a lot of rich ppl here lah...saw too many sport's cars on da streets..!! been drooling da whole day...got so many chunted stuff la...wanted to buy some shoes oso...mum dont let lah...li shan got a new teddy bear and glasses oso...this place not bad...got a lot of chun chics and cute guys oso...so sleepy...zzzz...wanna nap now...chao...wanna update tomorrow la...

after i heard bout my mum's story bout my aunt n her soon-to-be-divorced husband,i find it hard to trust ppl whom ive always highly respect....maybe its juz me or maybe it was bout what he did to my aunt that made her so devastated....all i know he was juz like dat that he'll never change...he was a great uncle last time and i thought he was loyal to my aunt but what i didnt know was he had this split personality...he was a good man in front of ppl but behind,he was a beast filled with nothing but lust...juz hated him for what he did to my aunt....even my cousin dun wan to have his last name anymore....he gav me dis impression of dr jekyll and mr hyde...ive always respected him for making my aunt happy but after knowin the lies and hidden secrets...hes juz like what they always say...a cheater and a player...my aunt practically worked 24/7 and she earned the money for him...and he used all of it to have fun and fool around....what type of husband is dat?bloody hell...he appreciated nothing at all...she loved him so much that she was blinded by love....ive learnt my lesson now...maybe im a bit too young but i understand what it feels like to be in her place....trust is not juz a word,its also commitment and loyalty that comes together with it....

juz reached singapore today...went out with my uncle(mum's younger brother) and my aunt(dad's sister)....such a tiring day...goin to sleep soon....stil havin probz with my mum....since dat day i burst out at her for keeping me at home like a prisoner....felt that she was overcontrollin my freedom....juz by asking for a bit of freedom,she screwed me up pretty badly......said i wasnt grateful enough and dun appreciate what she had done for me...said she wished she din hav a daughter like me and wanted to kick me out of the house....she added that i shud get out and never come back..told me that i was a waste of everything and threatened to slap me...haih..i know she din mean what she said but i gues its all gettin to my head....juz wish this holiday will bring me peace and calmness somehow.....guess i wont be able to club at all after this....well....dats al....wont be updatin for a while...

wow,today was so tirin...what a great workout today!was sweating alot and gettin physically fit after sooooooo long.....my gosh,how i wish there was a stadium near my house.....would go and train everyday....miss all those sports man.....haiz...didnt have the chance to do any track and field events in college...cant expect me to gain back my stamina after missing 1 yr of training.....miss my coach too lolz....hmm......my trainer today was reali teachin Lishan and I all sorts of kicks,punches and how to get out of handlocks....its kewl....had2to do sit ups(my weakness)...ive to start training again....haih...the last thing i need is to lose more weight....dats a NO-NO!my trainer said that i have strong endurance but weak stamina which means ive to work out every morning now....lolz....Lishan was grumbling on how un-fit she was and was so tired after a while....but her kicks are pretty good...especially the GROIN KICK...haha....dats the best man!it'll juz make guys cry....goin out to pudu after this to shop again....so far,ive got stuff for kim,min,kwee,jas,yvonne,and ive alot more to go......hmm....kinda hard2shop for guyz tho...hou,i shud giv u a goldfish la for x'mas....hehe...lolz.....

some ppl say they envy me for many reasons but what they dont know is what is hidden beneath all that...ive talked to a few close frenz bout their past and present experiences and i juz feel that ive no one to trust but myself....at the beginning, i thought that i could change this guy and mould him into a great person..everything was perfect and the memories were wonderful..but nothing seems as perfect as u wish it wil be..i gave him everythin; my trust,loyalty,sincerity,care,love...but i felt that there were some faults in me which caused this relationship to backslide.....i know ive made mistakes and he did too....i juz couldnt accept the way things were headed and felt that it was juz goin to cause heartbreaks and sorrow....the truth is ive done bad things in this life and i know that i wont do that again in future coz it'll ruin me as a person mentally and emotionally....all of the reasons i did this is coz of the person i love....but he juz didnt understand how i really felt even with my mum forcin me to end this relationship....both of us ended up cheatin on each other(he dreamt bout it before)and it wasnt what we've expected....i admit i have broken a guy's heart coz i rejected him eventho he brought happiness into my life...sadly,it juz wasnt meant to be..nor is it meant to be now....i realise i'll have to let go sooner or later before i get burnt and scarred....

ok u guyz told me to post this one ar.....dun say i malukan u all later....ok honestly saying le.......CHRIS UR NOT CUTE.....dun perasan lebih lebih..dat day bully me now i balas.........wahahaha......summore didnt ask me whether i stay in subang or ampang.....aiyer.....go n accuse ppl.....chey,like dat la u....so tak gentleman.....say bloggin is a waste of time....haiz.....no matter what u say,u stil gona belanja me japanese food...u promise me,ben n chris ady...no turnin back........hehe......well,daniel......hmm....ok le.....i can say not bad le..quite lengchai but dun kembang.....hey,being a hairstylist is not bad u know...its kewl....

in conclusion......both NOT CUTE.......heheheh....im so evil...im the cutest...muahahaha.....ok,im being crazy now.....haha....i know im a big fat liar.....plz forgive me ppl

whole day non stop blabbin bout denny's lil bro,lenny...since denny's party until now ar non stop wei....ok,in siang sern's car she was tlking bout the house which lead to the cars then d parents,den denny den lenny......she started sayin that she didnt know lenny could dance so well like his bro eventho he was onli 11.....she was like lovestruck....den she started admiring his hair and his moves and clothes......omg...its crazy.....wow,i juz dun understand kids these days....love at first sight...infatuation.....aiyo....goodness,she was like i duno him but i think he's cute...she doesnt care bout the 3 yrs difference...and btw he's 11 and she's 14....haih what does a big sis hav to do?be supportive rite...lolz....i shud juz shut up for now b4 she screw me nicely...oopz...sori lishan....hehe

hmm....have been doing quite alot of shopping lately.....was supposed to go to midvalley with yvonne n kwee jin today but mum made her own plans and brought me n lishan to ikano and ikea instead......was kinda sad coz reali wanted to see my pet sis....so long havent catch up with her ady.....mum keeps on pressin that lishan and I are not doing enough housework etc blabla....haih....my house has been like prison these few days...have to stay at home most of the time coz mum's workin and we're not allowed to go anywhere....well......i stil have to go out with my 8 gangs...but not sure when....theres so limited time....let me recall the 8 gangs

1: S9
2: sri inaians- mawar&orkid students
3: lembah keramat-wanie,shasha,nadia,syaifa,etc
4: wangsa maju-alvin,chanduru,eddie,lavaniya,navin,sasi,ammar,wai hing
5: my besties - chris,daniel and ben
6: my pet sis-yvonne, my pet bros - daniel and faiz
7: Steph and Becky - my concert mates
8: Kim and Min - my darlin college galz

lolz....dats kinda a lot.....well....got self defense class again tomoro.....wake up early again....haiya

my self defense class wan interestin and fun....learnt some new stunts and moves from my kickboxing instructor...hehe....so yee hou better watch out...so mean la u hurt lishan dat day...lolz..

was busy doing housechores today....finali hav time to blog....hmm,its been quite fun cleaning up the house..its stil in a mess tho...i realise how little time i hav to spend with my frenz....and its quite unfair for me coz i wont be seeing them again next year...

chris and daniel went all the way to subang to look for me....awww how sweet...they still remember me lolz after so long....they're like my best buddies since form2...i feel so guilty lolz....dey had to go al the way to subang while im in ampang....aiye....hav2belanja them makan ady....

had a night show today...aeon flux was absolutely great...so modern and the clothes that charlize theron was wearin were juz wow....shes super hot man...guyz can juz drool when they watch the movie....haha.....there was one part when she wearin almost nothing as her nightie...wah,so sexy...could hear almost the whole cinema whispering bout it....haha....its too die for lolz....didnt get any prezzie for daddy yet...supposed to but no time....ive to wake up early tomoro.....self defense class.....haih.....ciaoz

I won't hurt you
I'll protect you
I won't let the rain fall down
I'll always be around

And baby i will understand if sometimes
You just want to spread your wings and fly
And let your colours shine

And everyday i wanna be a risk you take
Make a promise that will never break for life

You're my butterfly
Don't fly away open my hands your free
Praying you'll come back to me
You're my butterfly
Don't fly away
You're my reality
Always be my gravity
You're my butterfly
Come on and touch the sky
You're my butterfly

I won't forget you
Or neglect you
Won't let no-one take your place
In your eyes i see my face

And baby do you know that everybody watches
Every time that you take flight
They're blinded by your light

Every day the feeling's gonna be the same
I can promise that will never change for life

I do not understand my life within these four walls.I have succumbed to that fear of being closed up in a place with nothing but loneliness and emptiness.Only my father will be able to take me out from this misery.All my mum ever does is nag and bark at us with rudeness and vulgarity.Have i ever done anything to disobey her?Ive done everythin to please her and make her proud but nothing i ever do is enough for her.Well,probably i should just leave things be and forget what happened but i really wish there is a way i can change her ego.Eventhough she's wrong,she'll never give in and keep pressin that she's right.I know she's not perfect but she is a perfectionist sumtimes.Everythin has to be perfect,everyone has to be almost perfect.I should juz sign off before I explode

Denny's birthday is today but he celebrated it yesterday. His party was great! Had all these DJs to rave up the music. Mostly trance and R&B. The girls & guys were grooving on the dance floor to the beat of the music. It was fun. Denny had to blow his b'day cake many times coz of the trick candles.It was so funny seeing him do that. Then, we girls were busy shakin' our booties on the platform while the guys were leading Denny to the swimming pool. There was a loud splash! (Denny is quite chubby after all). Well, we all had a great laugh. We missed the cake though lolz. WE wont forget it. It was great!

my mum and maid has a heated argument in the kitchen juz not too long ago and i juz couldnt stand it.....it was so terrible..my mum slapped her so hard on the face.....n she felt no guilt at all for doing that....i agree my mum is abusive and she doesnt reali how is it like to be in sophy's place......sophy juz wan to go back to her country coz her father is sick and there's no one to look after him...i would understand dat if i was in her place but mum juz dun get it.....i felt that there was no right to release her anger by slapping sophy.....thats juz such a terrible thing to do.....i admit that ive been slapped many times by my mum but shes my mum and i accept it but even sophy's mum doesnt lay a hand on her...its juz unfair and not right at all.....now shes gone back for good and shes been so great to us...she was being rebellious coz she reali wanted to go home....she wanted to create problems to make my mum angry so that she can go home.....guess now,she has gotten what she wants and i guess she wouldnt miss us after what my mum did to her....my mum kept threatenin that she'll slap her again if she rebels and fights back more....i feel so terribly sad coz she has gone back for good.....and angry at my mum coz she slapped sophy....feel so angry and sad at the same time....

went out with jasmine today....lolz with lishan and jas's sis,jessica....supposed to go rock climbing but was too tired to do so so we hung out in 1utama instead.....wanted to watch aeon flux but lack of time...lolz.....was window shoppin and went to the arcade to shoot sum enemies and race with un-intellectual but fun beings....hmm.....spent quite alot durh....it has been ages since we last hangout lolz.......2moro goin2put up the christmas tree haha...the at nite,gonna celebrate shuffler C's bday....gonna be so much fun lolz.....day aft 2moro,got self defense class....wow...i guess im pretty packed....10th-aunt evelyn's christmas party....mum's fren gonna intro his son to us lolz.....pretty freaky all this matchmaking business....what's wrong with mothers these days?lolz......i realize that the SAM final results will be comin out quite soon.....rite b4 christmas....this will be my "heart attack before christmas"....haha.....mum is gona arrange a christmas eve's party on 23rd but only ALL her frenz r invited....sad sad.....Li-0 and I cant invite our frenz.....boohoo....

lolz.....omg,i juz had2post this....i was so super excited when oliver modified my pic into a butterfly pic using photoshop~!!!so so happy haha....i know im crazy....call me a butterfly freak hehe....forgive me ppl....btw,i wasnt cam whoring....lolz....i seriously didnt know he could do all this stuff and fiddle around with photoshop.....wow,he must be kinda good in this stuff for a bio student....neway,i kinda influenced him into it......so he's kinda a butterfly freak now......haha.....*screams in delight*...yeay~!!first time i hear a guy crazy over butterflies~!!good good~!!!i shall broaden my teachings to my fellow mates...hehe......jokin......well,thx so so very much ducky~!!!arigato gozaimas....

Omg......i gues i juz wasnt ready or i was juz too nervous that i didnt know how to answer the questions eventhough the test was kinda easy......how silly of me....guess ive to retake haha....i got 40 out of 50...aiya the passing mark is 42....bodoh.....butim not too bummed though maybe coz i know i wasnt ready for it and i juz felt that i was rushin to finish the test...anyway,whatever reason,i stil hav to retake.....this time hav to study liao...haha....

yasmine was the main character of a play called wrinkle in time.....super chun..she did an excellent job actually...wow,she was reali vibrant and strong....such a great actress man....she'll be the next julia roberts of malaysia soon lolz....a reali mature young child with remarkable talent...she's only like 13 but she can act so well....wonder if she acts in front of her mum juz to go dating...haha...this play is about a girl whose in search of her father in another planet..makes it pretty interesting coz there are beasts, fat ladies,storms and stuff like dat....the guy playing as her father was pretty young but got some lengchais acting also especially the korean guy and the white guy....haha....funny tho...it was a great performance....havent seen this type of plays since i was std 6...lolz...

i realised that after being with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs, things dun reali go as planned...sumtimes i wonder whether im reali appreciated for me or juz being used for comfort and support....all this while i have been trying2make things work out...but after one incident,i juz lost hope,trust,faith in him.....i duno whether i can accept this relationship again and everything he tells me,my heart keeps rejecting every single word....coz i dun trust or love him as much ias i used to....he kept secrets from me and lied to me....i juz wonder whether i truly deserve a guy who treats me that way....i feel like such a fool for acceptin him again after we broke up....but all i wanted was to reach 3 yrs....and then he doesnt have to see me again....i dun expect to gain anything from that....but he wanted more than juz 3 yrs....i wasnt sure bout all of it.....he kept sayin that he didnt come all the way here for nothing and dat he wans our future plans to come true....he should have thought bout it before he left me heartbroken and devastated.....i know that there's something in him that is good and not deceitful...but im juz sick of being hurt and being weak....im the one who has to make most of the sacrifices in the future....but does he appreciate what ive done or have to do?......somehow i feel that the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with will never be here.....but i can never tell him that.....i'd rather hurt myself than let him be hurt....he doesnt know anythin bout how to make me happy.....when all i've ever done was mould him into a guy who understands what relationships are and what love truly means.....the truth is ive been to blind to see what lies beneath all the lies and betrayal until i leave myself in the corner of a room crying my eyes out....which i know is useless and will never change things....well,i believe that things will change.....within this 2 mths,i believe that der'll be sum light in my life....but im not sure if i'll ever opened up to him again......

Never Again

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Guy, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the woman
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again

No, no, no, no, no, no

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it

But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the woman
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me

Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again

Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me

1st december - klcc....supposed to go to pudu to shop...but anyway,bumped into lina teoh,arianna teoh and betina chua...

2nd december - gona watch yasmine's play....hav2study for test on sat

3rd december - undang test....aiya....juz hope i wont fail le

4th december - amali...mite go n watch aeon flux

5th december - practical...denny's bday

6th-10th december - kinda free

11-16th december - singapore

17th december - kim's performance...not sure if i can go

18-23rd december - kinda free

24th december - mum's x'mas party

25th december - x'mas day.....

26th-31st december - kinda free

around late jan or early feb...im gona throw a big farewell party....those leavin for aussie can join me too...will confirm u guyz later.....

those invited - all ex sri inaians, kindergarten frenz, lembah keramat frenz, wangsa maju frenz,tuition frenz,taylor's college palz,childhood frenz and family frenz....

all this time i was hoping that i wont lose this great fren...whom i have known since i was primary 1.......i mean we were close and we talked bout everythin....boys,skewl,teachers,etc...those were the days.....the memories i can never forget and they stay in my mind always...we shared the tears and laughter,the joy and fears....but the things ive always liked bout this fren was she's always the gurl i turned to for a shoulder to cry on,for a listenin ear,for comfort and shelter......she was always a big sis to me eventho she's younger by 9 mths...we used to joke bout everythin....being bullied by the guys in our class...i stil remember she had to chase weng kin al over the clas juz to get back her hair tie...lolz...we even stayed overnite at mich's house few times....we'd be makin fun of each other til the wee hours in the morning.....haha....those were the times...and one incident broke our friendship which made me reali sad...im juz glad that now,she's my friend again..happiness cant describe it in words...altho we've never talked as much,she'll always be the friend ive never had....